Sunday, May 2, 2010

10 days, and a world of change.....

I've not updated my blog in 10 days. My life has changed so much in that time!!! My Gramma went home to Heaven one week ago. The worst day of my life. Ok, one of them.....

after accepting the fact that I wouldn't be able to go home for the funeral, my family called and insisted I be there. I've never felt so blessed, and happy to have such a wonderful support system. My family is one of those families that fights amongst ourselves....says nasty things about each other when we are hurt by another, and sometimes has a very hard time admitting we are wrong, and are just simply stubborn. One thing I have ALWAYS known about my family though, is that when the going gets tough, we get together!!!! Alan and I laugh, because we can say the meanest things to eachother, not talk for a year, but if anyone else says anything, tries to hurt or cross us, we are a united front, and are ALWAYS there for eachother!!! In saying all that, this past weekend has made me re-evaluate all of that!!!! I've finally seen what my Gramma saw for so many years, and that is that we ARE a family, and we love eachother, and there is no need to fight, or argue....because when it comes down to it, we are all we have left. All of this to say that, I have realized how much I truly love and appreciate my family. Maybe the lesson that Gram tried to teach all of this, all of these years, came to us a little late, but we have definitely learned it, and for that I am so thankful.

So, lets that I've jumped way ahead, let me go bp of course was pretty high before we left SC. I also couldn't hear!!! I got an ear infection, and it totally distorted my hearing....this has been going on for 2 weeks now. After trying tons of home remedies, I finally took Alan and Dora's advice to go to urgent care and get them checked on our way to NY. I was about 5 minutes away from just going and getting some Sudafed, after a friend suggested that (her ob told her it was safe during pregnancy, and if it meant no urgent care, why not, right?!?!?) I try it!! Thankfully I went to see the doctor FIRST. I know my Gramma was looking out for us that day!!! The doctor said that this far into pregnancy with my already very high blood pressures could, have caused my bp to shoot way up and cut off the blood supply to Annabelle. I seriously almost threw up when he told me that. I guess the lesson I learned in that is, GO TO THE DOCTOR when you're sick, and don't assume that what is good for one person, is good for another. The thought of losing my daughter like that still upsets me. On that note.....after being seen there, we were on our way to NY!!! I still can't hear perfectly, but with the medicine that the doctor gave me, that is SAFE, it's slowly getting better!

Thursday we spent at calling hours, saying goodbye and meeting with friends and family. That was soooooo hard. Friday morning was her funeral. I've never seen or heard, or FELT so many tears as I did that day!!! It's still hard for me to think about that day, and Gram being gone!!!! Friday was also Olivia's 6th birthday!!! Not exactly how I had hoped to spend my babie's birthday, but she was a great sport about it, and my family was wonderful. At the reception following the funeral they all sang happy birthday to her, and brought her out a bag full of presents. She was thrilled. Friday night was spent with my sister and friends, celebrating her birthday!!!

Let me not forget, on our way home Thursday night, we got pulled over, not ONCE, but TWICE!!!!!! First by a sheriff, and then a State Trooper (seriously within 10 minutes of eachother!!! ARGH!!), welcome home to NY, right?!?!

Saturday we went out to Nunda, to say goodbye to Gram one more time, and put flowers on her and my mom's graves!!!! The kids loved picking out some flowers for them we picked out a cute little angel statue for Grammo!!! We got to hang out with Tina, and baby Ellie for a while too, that was wonderful!!! Tina was so kind and gave me COUNTLESS outfits, socks, mittens, onsies, sleepers and gowns, along with bottles, diapers, and so much more, for baby Annabelle. We will be set for a long time!! What a blessing!!

My weekend brought more tears then I want to think about, but it also brought so much happiness!!! We got to spend time with family, go to WEGMANS, yes, anyone who knows me, knows that is my very favorite place!!!!!! We got to have dinner at Charcoal corral.....and ice cream too!! HEHE!!! I got to spend time with long time friends, meet new family members, spend time with my beautiful nieces, sister and brother in law. More then anything, I got to say goodbye to my Gramma.

I could ramble on and on about our much happened, but I think some of those memories I will keep to myself, and just hold them close to my heart, where they are safe and protected!!!

For now, however, we are just leaving Rochester...(not before we stopped at Wegmans ONE more time to get some of our favorite goodies!!!! Oh how I wish the sub shop were open this early!! LOL Next time....)

Thank you to all of my very dear friends, and family, for all the love and support they have showed myself and my family through this very hard time. For those that flew home to NY to say goodbye to someone who touched their hearts too. No words can express how grateful I am for all of you. A special thank you to Tammy and Jaime for helping take care of the kids during calling hours and the funeral. Thank you to Dora and Charlie for their continued love and support, as well as taking care of our house/cat and mail in SC. We love you guys!!! Thank you to my sister and Brett for not only giving us a place to stay for the weekend, but for making Olivia's birthday so special on Friday. And to the rest of the family, thanks for not giving up on me, and letting me grieve the loss of Gram with all of you. It's made me a stronger, better person. And finally, last but certainly not least....thank you to my Gramma for the beautiful life that you gave me. For being my Gramma, my mom/dad and my very best friend. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, and when no one else did....thank you for being my rock, and for sharing your life with me, Alan and the kids. We will forever love and miss you, but you are here, in my heart, and a day will not pass that I won't think about you!! I love you!!!

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